She Names the Tarantula Pudding
by Aelibia
Summary: Shino and Sakura visit a traveling insect zoo. Prompt fill.


A/N: Prompt fill for Cruisegirl86. You guys I have six tarantulas in Real Life.

**she names the tarantula pudding**

"We have been here for an hour and not one of these signs is without error."

Sakura abandoned the hissing cockroach enclosure and returned to Shino, linking her arm in his and squinting down at the aforementioned sign.

_Rare tarantulas from the land of Lightning! These industrious insects live in massive colonies beneath the earth, plotting the demise of lost travelers and unwary ninjas!_

Her hand wasn't fast enough to stop the giggle from escaping. Shino gave her a Look. Taking a quick look around for the carney, Sakura leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"Call me crazy, but I'm getting the feeling that none of this is meant to be educational."

Shino sighed, tipping his head back to stare at the tent ceiling through tinted lenses. When he'd found her after her hospital shift and asked if she wanted to check out the big emporium that's just set up outside the gates, she imagined the current situation hadn't been in his plans.

"It's not even an _insect,_" he muttered. "You can start there. And there are no tarantulas in Lightning. Not native species, in any case. And—"

"And," Sakura finished, "this species doesn't live communally _or _underground." She bumped her hip with his, pleased when he tottered a bit to regain his balance..

Shino reached up to adjust his glasses, a habit of his, she noticed, often arising in response to the presence of her sass. "Precisely. Been looking into tarantulas, have you?"

"This one, yes. Their venom can cause some painful tightening of the muscles. I'm wondering if it could be analyzed for use in treatment of muscle paralysis cases. I wonder if they'll let me buy her."

"With such clearly emaciated ethics, I can imagine this proprietor would let you purchase his own child."

"Oh, Shino." Her laughter attracted the carney for a brief moment, but one of the benefits of dating Shino was that people generally left you the hell alone out of intimidation. "Don't you think you're being a _bit _harsh?"

"Sakura. This man has erected this tent under the guise of education but is clearly more interested in using these innocent creatures to frighten small children. Spreading harmful misinformation about bugs is worse than saying nothing at all." Shifting them both to the next exhibit, he pointed an accusatory finger at the sign. "See? 'Poisonous fangs.' Let's ignore the issue of calling them fangs, which is inaccurate. And the use of the term "poisonous." This is a walking stick."

A sly look passed over Sakura's face and she side-eyed her infuriated date. "Innocent creatures, huh? Innocent like those ladybugs you said were deadly to scare those bullies away from me when we were six?"

"That," Shino sniffed, "was for a good cause. And I didn't make pocket change off of it."

"You said they were attracted by negative emotions and would nest in their hair. I didn't think those kids would get within three feet of me for the rest of the year."

A light blush dusted across what she could see of his face, and she smiled.

"And—"

"And," Shino finished, "I told them later that if they weren't nice to you that I would send a swarm of bees into their homes." He coughed into his fist. "Yes, that may have been inaccurate. But I never intended to educate."

"Oh sure, it's okay when _you_ do it." He looked sideways at her and she gave him a bright smile. "Wanna get out of here? I've got leftover cake at my place."

He nodded, turned to the front flap, and stopped. "Wait. I'm going to see how much he wants for that Whirlpool green female. You said it would help your research?" Wallet in hand, he crossed the tent and, as per usual, made a very _very _quick sale. For much less than market value, most likely. He passed the holding container to Sakura and the both of them left the tent, heading back toward the front gates.

"I'm going to speak to the hokage about this," he said. "Regardless of my own past, what this man is doing is selling lies and misinformation."

"Running that reputation repair campaign, eh? Don't forget to destroy or bribe everyone who remembers bad boy Shino from his insectoid misinformation days."

"You're never going to forget about that, are you?" He gave her a pained Look this time.

"Absolutely not. I made my best friend that day. I'd make up a hundred lies to get you out of trouble, Shino."

He kissed the top of her head.

"Then I'll just have to do my best to make sure you don't get into any."

Sakura slid her hand down the length of his arm, twisting her fingers with his until their palms rested flush. Shino gave her a soft, secret smile, and they made their way back to her apartment for cake.

A/N: And then they had some "caaaaaaaaaake" if you know what I MEAN. Please feel free to drop a prompt off for me here or to guiltyfandomtrashwonderland on tumblr. Default is no smut unless you ask for it.


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